Thank you, statute of limitations

When I was a teen, my dad had a knack for talking small businesses he frequented into hiring me as their newest lowest rung helper. To be clear, I didn't want these jobs, so I developed a knack for staying at them for three days. I don’t know why it was three days but it always was. I went through half a dozen jobs over the course of my freshman high school summer, back when my dad yelled at me for being useless because I wasn’t hitting the pavement looking for work the moment I turned 14.The various jobs were odd. Once I made meatball subs at an Italian restaurant until 2am as a 15 year old (technically against child labor laws). I worked briefly at a Jiffy Lube cleaning up the place until my third day when I accidentally walked into a car lift, cut a gash into my head, and then used the main bathroom to wash up all the blood in front of customers.About half of the jobs, I was incompetent at and not interested in learning to do better so I was asked to leave, but the other half I…