a self indulgent musing

ive been no contact with my ex (out of convenience / awkwardness, not some kind of agreement) for maybe six months now? they got in touch a couple of weeks ago because theyre planning to move to a bigger city to start a stable and well paying job that theyve been dreaming of for a while. theyre bundling a bunch of their things in their car with their boyfriend and heading over that way, and need to get rid of a bunch of things that belonged to the two of us. i've been turning over this feeling of inadequacy that came as a result, both as a direct comparison to them and how i feel like i'm stagnating while theyre getting their big break, as well as this deep sensation of seeing their stable relationship. apropos of nothing my brain starts feeling like i'm lacking as a person because i couldn't provide what they needed (this is of course ridiculous, but it's interesting that the feeling came up anyway) the direct counterpoint to this weird feeling is a recent stint of interesting events…