Trillium, Birmingham

Linda Greaves, the fashion icon who is single-handily propping up the economy and who also happens to be my incredible Mother-in-Law, has a theory that the combination of Brummie cakes and a glass of cold white wine on the terrace of Trillium might be the best light lunch going. She tells me this over a long lunch with her daughter, whilst eating a Brummie cake and trying to recall the name of the place that she used to pop in for a scallop and a glass of white wine at, which might not be as good as Trillium but would reinforce the point if she could remember it. She has halved her Brummie cake – which to me is basically a scone that watches The Osbournes – and is working the inside of the tin out so that she gets the precise ratio of clotted cream and bacon jam onto it. I do the same, not caring whether the clotted cream goes on first or second because I have a life. It’s outrageous. I love it. Sure, a big boi like me needs more than one or two of these for lunch, but Linda is on to…