OTel Isn't Going Well (And I Made A Spreadsheet About It)

For years now one of the most reliable complaints I hear when I try to drag a team off their vendor specific SDK and onto OpenTelemetry is some variation of: "why does it seem like this isn't done yet?"Vendor SDKs for observability are, to put it charitably, idiot-proof. You install the thing, dashboards just load data, someone else worries about how all those pieces fit together, and you get on with your life. OpenTelemetry, by contrast, greets you at the door with a lot of "experimental" stamps and roughly six different ways to accomplish any given task. In OpenTelemetry's defense this was never what they were going for as a project. I've always respect that they stuck to their guns by attempting to build a truly vendor agnostic system that really doesn't care what you do with the data. I have never gotten a sense of a vendor being strongly preferred with OTel, which is quite the feat considering how lucrative and contentious the observability ecosystem was. Also considering that…