Toughen Up

Ever since I was a little kid, I hated the idea of being tough. I didn’t like the idea of being told to “toughen up”, “be brave”, “suck it up”, or “be a man.” Since I wouldn’t learn phrases like “toxic masculinity” for many years, I think this concept in my head was something I referred to as just “being manly.” I had no interest in any of that. I related to characters in fiction who were weak, dorky, and shy. I strayed away from playing sports, which is a shame, since I now wish I had taken badminton or fencing or something like that. I gravitated towards nerdier classmates and hobbies. I generally stayed indoors, staring at screens, when other boys played outside. It probably wouldn’t shock you to learn that I’ve also always been a bit of a coward. Too scared to play sports, ride bikes, ride rollercoasters, or go to waterparks. Too scared to learn to drive when I hit the age I could’ve gotten my permit. Too scared to get into fights, not even playful wrestling or tussling with other…