Applications open: Dream writer (unpaid)

Last night, I had a dream that I ran into Sam at a diner. I was with my friend Yasmeen and I said oh that’s Sam. She’s not responding to my texts. She reached over and tapped Sam on the shoulder and asked her why she would do such a thing. Sam, upon being asked, immediately rolled her eyes at me. That was the last straw. I fired my team of dream writers. Sam would never roll her eyes at me. She would show up to brunch an hour and a half late without explaining herself. And she would invite me to Kenya and then forget to tell me she booked her flight. And she would accuse me of harbouring internalized racism for saying that ginger beards look hot on dark-haired men. But she would never roll her eyes at me! They all had to go. I fired the entire team. I lined them all up and then stood in front of each one, pointing my finger and yelling you're fired. They never joined the union, thankfully, because I convinced them that there's no need to bother with that monthly fee. Why would you…