I Know This Is Disordered Eating. I’m Doing It Anyway

This is not a post about gradually falling into an eating disorder without realizing what was happening I knew what I was doing A few weeks ago I spent several days hating how I looked and decided I needed to do something about it. I started fasting, eating an overly restrictive amount when I did eat and purging when I went beyond what I had allowed myself I know fasting to deal with bingeing is not normal. I know purging is not normal. I knew there were risks before I started and still decided weight loss mattered more I do not know if I meet the criteria for an eating disorder yet but I am doing something disordered enough that the distinction does not feel all that important HistoryI was overweight from a fairly young age but I only became properly conscious of my body around the age of 16 Looking back, I had always snacked a lot. Whenever I had pocket money I would spend it on snacks but I do not remember thinking much about what that meant for my body Eventually I started…