Earn Your Dings

If you play guitar or have ever shopped for one somewhat thoroughly, you know that there’s a huge market for cosmetically aged guitars. That is, you can go to the guitar store and buy one that looks like it’s from the ‘60s. That looks like somebody’s played it, smoked on it, and defecated on it every day of their life. And it’s showing the battle scars. The idea is that you get the look and feel of something old but have something brand new. Hilariously, there’s a whole cult—thousands of people on the internet who argue about what good aging is or bad aging is. I call them pretend-aged guitars. I don’t like it. I think it’s dumb. It’s a way to make a $1,000 guitar cost $5,000. Because there are all these levels of aging, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I’m reminded of this because I bought a Precision Bass that’s dated 2005, and it sat in a closet. So, literally unused. Somebody took it out for a day or two. The guy I bought it from said he was selling it for a friend, but now that I…