I’ve been wanting to use one of these GIFs for years.

Okay gang, hold onto your shorts, as the New Progressive Ruin is launching next Monday! I’ve been working in a secret laboratory, tinkering with templates and japing with jpegs, and I think I finally found the right formula to freshen up this site. I won’t bore you with details (“What? Who are you, and what have you done with Mike?”) but one template I was working with, that I sure was The One, turned into a huge pain in the Athol, Idaho, so I pivoted mid-stream to another and found that it did, like, 75% of the formatting for me. So what’s left is that other 25%, which has taking a bit of learning new tricks, and just straight up downloading CSS and PHP code to plug into the new site to make things work the way I want them to. Ultimately, things won’t be TOO different. I was trying to find a new design for the site that worked more or less like the old one. The priority was finding a more modern theme, one that’s been updated more recently than 2010 and will play nicely with the…