Astray 21

Every day without work is full of judgement. No money made, nothing proved. Who are these writers who sit and read and write for years without feeling guilty? Who pays the mortgage while they refine their sentences? I miss my mother, though most mornings her old sayings still know where to find me: pull yourself together! Take some responsibility! No appetite. Can’t concentrate, let alone write. Relentless LinkedIn spam in my inbox. Marketing executive. Content strategist. Brand storyteller. Customer success. Business development. I tailor my CV. I send it to universities, agencies, charities, shops. I apply for a job in the cathedral shop and am turned down. I join the council’s temp-job database. I go into a recruitment office and the man says I’m the third guy today to come in saying the same. He says there’s an admin job available with a business in Hellesdon. Nine to five. But it’s low-level, he says, you’re over-qualified. I could do that, I say, and straight away feel myself…