Thursday 30th July 2026

8643/21562I don't know why anyone takes drugs. Just blow up a couple of large novelty swimming pool rubber rings using lung power. Exactly the same effects (also danger of death) I hope I can make all my kids' dreams come true, but I managed to make one of the dreams of one of my kids come true this morning when I realised I needed a poo and found out Ernie needed a poo too. I went downstairs and he went upstairs and he rang me from his iPad and we counted down from three and pooed simultaneously.It was very tastefully done.