I’m a “computation technology professional”

I got some flattery delivered with my morning spam today: Hi RubenMy chargeback was approved, [sic] Mail merge! Can I get a mail merge for this gentleman, please? You are receiving this email because ${SPAMMER} solutions may be relevant to your role. This outreach is based on our legitimate interest in sharing relevant information with computation technology professionals. Computation technology professional has a nice ring to it. I don’t work in IT, I deliver exceptional computational technology outcomes with my nuanced synergies and disruptive thought-leadership paradigms. They call me the King of the Spreadsheets, got ’em all printed out on my bed sheets. My computer’s got the clocks, it rocks, but it was obsolete before I opened the box. I scare myself sometimes. By Ruben Schade in Sydney, 2026-07-28.