I Still Do Not Pass, but Maybe I Look Like I Am Trying

I wrote before about a sliver of gender euphoria I experienced. A small moment in a store where trying on femme clothes did not feel weird, where the store clerk treated me as normal and I felt like I was allowed to be there This is a follow-up to that, but it's more than just a sliver. It is a record of two visits to the same store, a hospital experience that made me hate my body, a haircut I was scared to get and a day where several small moments worked at once I still do not pass. That has not changed But for the first time I think I looked like I was trying 29 APRILOn the 29th of April I had a flexible cystoscopy, which is basically a camera inserted through the penis I wrote about the experience previously but the important part is that the procedure was physically and emotionally awful and left me freshly aware of the parts of my body I hate I had prepared myself for the procedure but I had not prepared for needing to change into a hospital gown and return to the waiting room…