Poop, poop, massage!

Poop 1While waiting to cross an intersection today, I noticed people on the far side of the road were staring at something to my right.I looked over my shoulder and saw a man standing in the middle of the crosswalk holding a leash, with four lanes of traffic stopped either side of him, waiting for an enormous and belligerent squatting dog to poop.It was a Bernese Mountain Dog or similar, and looked like it weighed at least 50 kg. Its deposits were huge too.The light turned green. I happily walked on, while the owner tried to scoop the poop into a woefully undersized plastic bag.Poop 2Literally about one minute later, a man on a bicycle passed me from behind, then screeched to a stop on the sidewalk about five steps ahead.He was wearing a tank top with a yellow parrot perched on his left shoulder. His right hand was holding a cigarette. Immediately below the parrot, there was birdshit on his skin.I stepped around him, hoping he wouldn’t talk to me.Then, while I was waiting to cross the…