july 24 bbb

And then there are those days where you need to take off your person suit and exist as yourself for a while, a thing that feels wonderful and vaguely transgressive until you realize that the suit you wear to survive (gesticulates demonstratively) out there is made of all kinds of plastic, and that the plastic leeches into your bloodstream a little bit at a time over a long period of time, and when enough plastic gets inside of you it starts to colonize you and terraform you from the inside out, and while on the outside you are sure that you are in control (because the suit something that you created to protect you) you start to wonder if this is a lie you've just told yourself to make the medicine go down easier, which makes you worry that you may have bought your own cover (because you have), so you push back, buck, and squirm, and if you do it well enough for long enough, enough of you can get loose that you (the real you, not the constructed you) can actually sit with it for a…