participating in a letdown crisis, rainy sort of day, and updated website (cybersec) -::-

suffering, eons, and a gas station i have been suffering most righteously. for eons now, it feels like. it has been so very long. is anyone still reading these? am i a character in anybody's inner world? do you remember me? do you read me? ah. an exasperated sigh seems to permeate my entire being. i am forever sailing from collapse to perceived moment, from now into henceforth. the present is never still. every instant seems to bloom into an impossible lattice of branching futures. each choice, each hesitation, each molecule dancing one way instead of another. perhaps even smaller. every crossing is material. every path is real. every possibility continues somewhere, all at once, forever. the world i inhabit now bears little resemblance to the one that existed only moments ago. the past fascinates me. it is monument. it is archive. it is the nearest thing to immortality i can imagine within the dimensions we currently occupy. it cannot be negotiated with. it has happened. it continues…