An Assortment of Bad Emails

[The lawyers have been busy.] I’ve recently received a higher than average number of dumb emails. Let’s talk about a few of them. Subject Lines From Dumb Emails I’ve Recently Received ***Attention requested, Paul: You’re getting the latest about these scams Oh boy, hot scam news! And yes, those asterisks were in the subject line. Spring fun begins now, %%Informal Greeting%! Presumably, the mailing software for this message would’ve replaced the variable %%Informal Greeting%% with, I don’t know, “friend”, or “amigo”, or “buckaroo”. But whoops, they left off a % and the whole thing broke. We’ve Updated Our Terms of Use I’m sure the lawyers think they’re best served by letting everyone know about fine print updates, but Shake Shack, I really, really do not care about your terms of use. I buy a better than you’d Veggie Shack from you perhaps twice a year, and that’s the entirety of our relationship. We’ve Updated Our Terms of Use Bonus, Shack Shake sent me the exact same message ten days…