Week 29, 2026: The slow build

Chasing my vitamin D with a big gulp of an Ultra Monster and thinking: that sums up my health quite well. The next time a man in a white coat asks me if I’m taking care of myself, I’ll tell him about that. I chase my vitamin D with energy drinks, doc, why don’t you tell me? He’ll ask about what’s troubling me and I’ll bring up a recent interaction I had with my mother. Okay, so Conan O’Brien was saying this interesting thing the other day. Oh, do you know who I’m talking about? The ginger comedian, the one who visited the West Bank? Yes, yes, I know him. The one with the waxy face. What did she mean by that, doc? When she said Conan O’Brien has a waxy face? I’ve been drinking Ultra Monsters just to feel something, anything, other than the desire to horizontally lie still for hours. Sometimes I went on runs, other days I had dark chocolate. A chase of happy hormones, ultimately. I felt spoiled about my reaction to the heat until I learned about the fires. Advice not to go outdoors if…