Disabling Siri

I only ever use Siri to set timers and turn on Do Not Disturb. It's pretty good at those things. It is very, very bad at many other things. I'll often have one AirPod in for music or podcasts when I'm doing chores around the house (I tend to function better with background noise). But, increasingly, Siri has taken it upon itself to activate itself for no apparent reason. It could be a stray noise, a show, one of our kids — it happens a lot. At best, this is annoying, at worst it's calling someone in my contacts I haven't talked to in ages. So, given Siri's extremely limited utility, I went about figuring out how to shut it off. In the Settings app on any of Apple's platforms, you can scroll to Apple Intelligence & Siri and flip Apple Intelligence off. Then, you can scroll down and disable all the invocation methods in Talk & Type to Siri. This mostly does it — but if you press and hold the big button on the right hand side of your iPhone, it'll prompt you to enable Siri. To address…