Feeling lonely in the ant colony

Tonight I had one of my self-pity episodes titled "I tried so hard my whole life yet I'm still fucking unemployed and lost at 30". I'm not proud of this one but it's a thought I often have. As I tried to climb out of that hole ‑ again, I wondered what this feeling is exactly. It's like feeling lonely in a room full of people. It's like being dumped in a world with the wrong tools, the wrong map and wondering why you can't find your way out. There is a type of wasp whose larva develop inside ant colonies, among ant juveniles. When the adult (= imago) wasp finally emerges of its cocoon, they must leave the nest as fast as possible, faced with the risk of being recognized as an intruder and killed by the ants. This is how I feel. A tiny being who turned out to be a wasp in the middle of an ant building. Let's face reality, this is a normal human feeling, nobody knows what the fuck they are doing anyway. So... Yeah. The epilogue of this act is I'm a regular human being with regular human…