The most American thing about me is the coffee

I'm not pretentious when it comes to coffee. I like it slightly weak and bitter with a ton of milk or cream in it, and that's it. Go to any cafe in America and this is the kind of coffee you find: drip coffee, bitter but weak, with a splash of milk (some people even push it further with pumps of sweeteners, but fortunately I'm not that uncultured). However, it wasn't until the first time I left the US (I went to London over a decade ago), when I ordered "just a small coffee, please" and watched in horror as the woman prepared an Americano, that I realized I drank coffee "like an American." I remember walking out of the cafe confused, thinking she got my order wrong. But it kept happening. One day, after getting yet-another Americano I didn't order, I finally grew a backbone and told the person in my politest voice: "Um, I ordered a coffee, actually? Just regular coffee, please." The woman looked at me like I was stupid. "Yes, that is coffee," she said. That was when I realized that…