zerbrechlichkeit

D called me the 3rd time this evening. the first time because she wanted to drink something. the second time because she heard weird noises and this time she said she couldn't sleep. this is probably very recognizable for most parents ;) we had a day that I cannot call easy or without struggle. so I was happy I could finally sit down and rest. when I went up the 3rd time, I could feel my body clench and my head trying to suppress my annoyance that was turning into anger. mostly from feeling extremely tired and yearning for rest. rest that I desperately needed. so close, but still not really there yet. of course I also wanted to help D. so I tried my best to give her what she needed. she didn't ask for it this time (she sometimes does, but not a lot). but I could see she needed it. after our not so easy day today, she - like me - was in need of a body that could finally relax. I guess she was too, not able to do that herself. I sat on the side of her bed and stroked her hair. her…