Sonic’s First Girlfriend Was Madonna

Regardless of whether you think Sonic the Hedgehog is cool, it’s clear that he was designed to make you think that.Pop in the first game and the effort is apparent almost immediately. He’s got that smirk. He’s got that authoritative finger waggle. He even taps his foot impatiently if you let the controller sit idle too long. It’s almost as if Sonic thinks you’re lucky just to spend time with him. He could, after all, leave you in the dust if he wanted — blast processing and all. Subsequent games continued the coolness campaign. In addition to introducing his Super Sonic form, for example, the sequel pairs him with Tails to make it clear that Sonic isn’t meant to be cute; he’s meant to be cool. And while Sonic the Hedgehog 3 introduces Knuckles — starting a tradition of pitting Sonic against various rivals who are meant to be as cool, if not even cooler — it also makes the decision to put Sonic on a snowboard. And yeah, in 1994, that was the better choice if you wanted a character to…