24 - this monster known as validation

(meta image credit: Jason Nelson on Pexels ) I've been sitting and reflecting on why I'm addicted to validation and approval lately. About two weeks or so ago (27-28 June to be exact), I went to this two-day emotional wellness/a so-called"ESQ" program ran by Muslim women for Muslim women (I know I said I was trans, but bear with me for a minute). I honestly came in expecting nothing - like it was going to be a lot of hogwash about being "emotionally attuned with oneself" and all of that. Hogwash about being attuned to the spiritual, about getting closer to God and that will somehow fix all of my problems. I've grown up attending countless motivational shit like this and came out the same person anyway - jaded, exhausted, somewhat...violated? Violated that I thought maybe that would give me a starting point, but ended up with useless garbage. Considering this is a personal post I'm not really interested in debating on the validity of emotional and spiritual intelligence; that's a post…