134 - intention

there was something you said a couple weeks ago, about always feeling calmer on the days after we hang out. i went looking for the messages, but i cant remember your exact wording. i've been thinking about it since then though. there's a set of traits that i try to emulate, common in the people i love; their dynamism, the wittiness, the fast-paced non-stop conversational panache. it doesnt come naturally. i can be energetically chaotic when the mood is right, but its in a different way. more brazen, less cultured. for the most part though, i am thoughtful. i take my time. i like to observe and consider and choose my moment. i abhore being rushed, whether its to an appointment or a conclusion. i could listen to you talk for hours. all of your friends seem so similar to many of mine. quick, sexy, confident, with refined opinions and fashionable personas. i am eternally prone to comparison, probably due to the very aspects of my nature i've just outlined. i observe. i consider. i wonder.…