Failing in Love is Not Failure at All

"And yet I decide, every day, to set aside what I can do best and attempt what I do very clumsily—open myself to the frustrations and failures of loving, daring to believe that failing in love is better than succeeding in pride.” — Eugene H. Peterson, A Long Obedience in the Same Direction The easier path is to succeed at what we ‘do best’. It’s harder to pursue what we ‘do clumsily’. Peterson calls it failing in love. I’m not sure it’s failure at all. Human relationships are clumsy. Parenting is clumsy. But clumsiness isn’t a deficit to overcome. It’s the cost of attempting something that pride can’t do well. The skills that make me effective professionally — strategy, clarity, decisiveness — are frequently the wrong tools in a relationship with a child. I can’t optimise my way into presence. I can’t lead my kids the way I lead an organisation. The clumsiness is built in, and it’s what makes it formative; for them and for me. There are overlapping skills though. Vulnerability,…