The Night Feeling

Table of Contents 1. The Night Feeling 2. Nighttime on the Farm 3. After Hours 4. Night Weather 5. Closing Thoughts 1. The Night Feeling There is a feeling I’ve had most of my life that I’ve never had a good name for. It shows up at night, usually when nothing is happening. A quiet road. A gas station glowing under the only visible lights in a black landscape. A parking lot after the store has closed, perhaps lit by a flickering neon sign. A bedroom lit by a monitor. The rest of the world asleep, or at least far enough away to stop asking anything from me. It is not exactly loneliness. It is not sadness either, even when it carries some of both. It feels closer to relief. At night, nobody needs me to perform. There are fewer messages to answer, fewer decisions to make, fewer people to become for the sake of the room. The world stops asking me to keep up with it for a while. 2. Nighttime on the Farm For a large portion of my childhood, I lived on a rural farm in Minnesota. If you've…