Independence Day (Terms and Conditions Apply)

So, after my guinea pig rant, I thought I might write something a little more simple and upbeat. You know, to give you lovely readers a break. It’s the 4th of July here in the U.S. And honestly, if you can just ignore the 104-degree heat that feels like living inside a toaster oven, the dawning realization that our country is actively falling apart at the seams, and the random firework explosions at 3:00 a.m. that sound like a tactical military assault on your neighborhood, you just might have a good day. It’s totally possible. Happy 4th. Go eat a hot dog. .