belonging vs. fitting in

When I was a kid, I ate up America. I so very much wanted to belong to something. My family are immigrants to this country, I, a first-gen, (third culture iykyk) have no roots in this country, and no footing in my parents' homeland. This place was all I knew. My parents came to the states before the Reagan-era, and we were surrounded by white influence. Despite growing up in a mixed culture neighborhood, I went to a predominantly white church, I went to a PWI for most of my schooling, and the community that took my parents in when they were making their way in this country were all white folks. All that shaped the view I formed of the US in my early childhood. I ate Americana up, I thought, "if I can show I love America like all these people who surround me, they will surely accept me." As I entered middle school, and my horizon stretched, I started to feel that couldn't be further from the truth. Still, I tried to be accepted in a community that ultimately always found a way to…