pronouns

since i entered trans feminine space, i have played around with different configurations of pronouns and haven’t found a natural fit… bodily, “he” is accurate… psychologically and emotionally, not so much… i enjoy the idea of being “she” the most, even as my internal dialogue defaults to "he" most of the time… the "she" in me is strong, but not fully dominant… i feel compelled to wear women’s clothing… i don’t feel compelled to change the sex of my body… “they” is probably most accurate… but it's awkward to be a they… that might be a generational thing… i note my struggle to remember my niece prefers “they/them”, though they are never around when i use these pronouns to refer to them… i remember this as often as i can, but as often as not, i refer to them as she, or group them into the feminine lineage of the family without thinking… i take comfort in knowing their mother doesn’t always remember either… i would like my pronoun life to be uncomplicated… at least as pronouns apply to…