I have too fallen victim to a marten

For some time, the Facebook algorithm has been pushing posts from a group called "People Fighting Against the Marten" onto my feed. I have found it pretty amusing. The group is full of personal stories, tips, and tricks from people trying to keep martens away from their cars. The thing is, martens, for some reason, love cars. They climb onto them and (I assume because they are territorial animals) pee and poo on the roof, especially on the antenna, the higher, the better. They also occasionally chew through electrical wires, sometimes rendering the vehicle inoperable. So the People Fighting Against the Marten are desperately looking for a solution to keep the martens away. Some swear that leaving a water bottle next to the car helps because the animals find the light reflecting off the bottle frightening. Others leave tennis balls around the car, as if performing some sort of satanic ritual to ward off the beasts. The posts often made me giggle, especially the night-camera footage of…