The Trauma of Employment

Content warning: sexual assault. Every year, I receive a glowing review from my employer, effusive, even. But each year, I dread the review. ‘This time, it’s going to be bad,’ I think. ‘I’m sure my boss was annoyed with me by the tone of their last teams message’. ‘I can sense that she wants to replace me’. ‘It’s been a good run, but I’d better refresh my resume’. My thoughts run away from me and before I know it I’m experiencing a full-blown stress response in my body as I imagine myself with a bindle slung over my shoulder because I can’t afford to pay rent. I’m aware that this is utterly irrational. My current boss is almost certainly the best I’ve ever had, and there are no real signs of trouble. This anxiety stems from something deeper. My first ‘professional’ role was as a print broker and artworker. I was paid peanuts, but I loved it. It turns out that I was a total print nerd, and specifying, designing, planning, managing, and procuring print work was a bit of a dream job for…