How is life after abuse?

Trigger warning: this is a blog post with detailed description of physical, emotional and sexual abuse. You can pass on this one if you're not feeling well or if you don't want to be triggered. I'm watching Maid again, the Netflix show about abuse and domestic violence. I think I watched it so many times I know by heart every detail on every scene. I see myself, watching this show again, and I see my mom, who watched the most triggering television films over and over again. Every time, I spend the rest of the night ugly crying. I think it may be the exact feeling I'm chasing, the powerful earthquake of being triggered, in a safe, controlled format. Because I don't want to forget this feeling of being trapped, when everything you know is abuse. I'm out now, I've not experiences domestic violence in any form or shape since I met my husband eight years ago, but I'm still struggling with PTSD. My husband had a relatively safe childhood. I saw the look in his eyes when my trauma-induces…