The Great Childhood Disinformation Campaign

What’s something you used to believe as a kid that seems ridiculous now? At first, I figured I’d go with one of the classics. The Easter Bunny. The Tooth Fairy. The idea that if you swallowed a watermelon seed, you’d end up growing a watermelon in your stomach. Which, now that I think about it, feels like it should’ve been a much bigger medical concern than anyone was making it out to be. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized childhood wasn’t just built on a few white lies and silly misunderstandings. It was basically one big disinformation campaign. Adults were just making stuff up. Constantly. And they did it with total straight faces. Some of it was practical: “Don’t swallow your gum. It stays in your stomach for seven years.” Seven years always seemed oddly specific. Like a team of scientists had actually tracked a piece of Juicy Fruit through some kid named Gary. Some of it was safety-related: “Wait an hour after eating before you go swimming or you’ll immediately…