"no such thing as the world becoming an easy place to save your soul in"

On the phone in France, he said: “It’s not worth it.” I was being so negative, too negative, and he stopped me in my tracks. The words coming out of my mouth didn’t sound like me, and I couldn’t help but wonder how I’d gotten to this place. I’d read in a Buddhist book once that if you’re deluded enough to believe you’re enlightened, a relationship will soon come along to challenge your self-concept. The relationship will make you want to travel a lot, but you should resist the urge. Funnily enough, I met him shortly after a spiritually transformative time in my life. I was ecstatic for a sustained period of time, and then humbled. I am a fatalistic person, by which I believe that I was born to feel what I’ve felt. Years after meeting this person I met someone else, whom I thought was different in important ways. This, too, I believe I was born to experience. I have at different times in these relationships felt extreme joy, extreme frustration, and quiet faith. Esme Wang, from The…