peering inside, amidst fog

i emerge out of the fog the body survived the mind i believe has changed peering into myself i see everything that is broken years of covering it up with preoccupation gave myself no space for growth the mastery of my skill to pass through time and exist just enough that my ego is satisfied at the expense of others deep down i do not like who i see inside i wish i was either courageous enough to change myself or not so self aware that i find ways to live with it frozen actions in observations no wonder i feel like i have not moved at all i can achieve arbitrary goals but what about the very thing that makes it about being a good human and not intense performance? everything feels impossible will i ever heal? or continue to stand still with the damage1 i hope i haven't lost my soul in that time when i thought i could stop existing i have a choice there is still time2 ref: manchester by the sea↩ ref: i saw the tv glow↩