[brazil, week 16] Struggling with finding direction

Today I cleaned my apartment. Pretty much the entire thing. The only part that I've yet to do (and that I'm not completely sure if I will do) is to clean my kitchen and clean the fridge. I've actually yet to do that final one for a bit longer than what I want to admit, but I guess that's just a truth of life at times. Maybe I'm at bit hard on myself at times, considering that I have basically moved alone to the other side of the world. I'm struggling with finding direction in a few things. I think the biggest change of my life (so far) this year, isn't the entire moving to the other side of the world-thing. Rather I think it is that I don't have the same urge and drive to work as a musician anymore, at the very least not in the same sense. I don't feel the internal drive (and external pressure) to practice jazz for hours each day, nor do I feel the drive to book and play alotta concerts. I'm not sure if I'm feeling contempt or empty, but this is the first time in a while where I don't…