Zen and the art of being a mid skater

I work in tech, the industry of optimization, monetization, efficiency, and frictionlessness. I’m generally opposed to what it 'stands for', but I love the work and I appreciate the money. My job makes being a mid skater and writing/reading poems a hallowed act. What I love about skating and poems is that they are commercially dead-on-arrival (skateboarding can be lucrative but not if ur mid.) When you do something that cannot easily be converted into money, you're free. You're cast out into the uselessness and beauty of personal meaning and play. I am not a ‘bad’ skater. I can do a heelflip and ollie a ten-stair. But I’m certainly not in a position to ever profit from it in any way. I’m scared to kickflip gaps or do anything but a 50/50 on a rail, despite having been at this since I was very young (though I am one of those people who, in high school, when asked, would say I’d only started a year ago to attempt to conceal my mid-ness.) I definitely still get that flash of dread before…