18 days ago · Life · 0 comments

Mom asked me to write a little something for Dad’s birthday on June 21st. Here it is. Pantry Dad is always great in the kitchen. As a hungry, hungry hippo, I constantly find myself scrounging for a snack. Not once do I fail to find something to nibble on. Nature Valley? A constant contender. Fruit Roll-Ups? An occasional delight. Chips Ahoy Chewy? If I’m lucky. It is difficult to transcribe the excitement from stumbling across a new case of Gushers. Dad doesn’t just stock the reserves, though. Dad observes. How long do the Pringles last—three days? add it to the rotation; two months? never again. Dad has pantry stocking down to a science. It’s a delicate balance between finding munchies that are tasty enough to be enjoyed over a week or two, but not too tasty to be inhaled as soon as they hit the shelves. Dad optimizes to ensure the pantry will stay stocked for at least a week. In this manner, Stewart, Stephen, myself, and the fourteen other neighborhood boys, will not go hungry…

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