relapse (or double day 0)

Relapse. Looked at some hentai manga online last night. Read it from 10pm to about 4am… closer to 5am. Porn brain big time last night. A goon session so to speak. I think jerking off right away at the start of the night, as soon as the feeling hits, is the way past that. Without porn of course. That and no phone. The no phone part is the hard part. That and my dick; but even that isn’t that hard anymore. I’ve been getting down on all fours and milking myself like a cow. I let my mind wonder to whatever feels arousing. It’s been all over the place. Mounting; being mounted. Past and imaginary partners. Sensations in the body. There’s a primal sensuousness to it. It feels good. It makes me hard. Knowing what you like is important for erection performance in bed says the porn star on that podcast I listened to. I like power but none at all. A wrestle for control. A battle. A flirt. A struggle. A fight. Dynamic. An element of unknown but not so much unknown as to elicit overthinking.…