Spray-On Pants Offer Relief to the Last Remaining Work-From-Home Holdouts

Clothing startup Aerosol Apparel has released a line of emergency spray-on pants designed specifically for the extreme remote workers who are venturing into the physical world for the first time in six years.“There is a small but dedicated demographic of employees who have not crossed their front thresholds since 2020,” said Aerosol Apparel CEO Sal Lacks. “For these individuals, the muscle memory for donning legwear has been completely eradicated.”Barry Leggs, a senior financial analyst, is a prime example. Last Tuesday, his employer demanded a rare, mandatory in-person retreat. Leggs ironed a crisp dress shirt, knotted a silk tie, grabbed his briefcase, and successfully navigated a forty minute train commute before noticing the horrified stares of his fellow passengers and a distinct draft.“I genuinely just forgot,” Leggs said. “Below the webcam line, I have been a free man for over two thousand days. The concept of a waistband simply did not initiate in my morning…