I Deserve A Better Class Of Enemy

AS THE READER MAY KNOW, I work for a law firm, as befits my deeply serious nature and inability to lie1. Today we felt the first cold fingertips of a sticky, clotted wind, a stupid portent of the truly dumb things that are surely to come: a client, unsatisfied with the already five-figure settlement we had managed to win for them from a Store-Brand Umbrella Corporation2, emailed us to say that they had asked ChatGPT3 how much they should’ve gotten instead, including screenshots and the confusingly aggressive and almost impressively wrong “THIS IS NOW DOCUMENTED”. Now, as most of you whose critical thinking faculties have not been pickled at the dire fin of Tralalero Tralala will be able to deduce, this was in fact not documented4, except in the sense that making a Speak & Spell say “You have a large and normal wiener, Mr. President, it in no way resembles the Very Bad Frog” counts as an update from a medical professional. We kickball-spoinged this nonsense away with, frankly, more…