Waymo Launches Hedge Fund Based Entirely on Conversations Recorded in the Back of Its Cars

Autonomous vehicle pioneer Waymo has announced its most profitable vertical yet. The company is branching into high finance with the launch of Waymo Capital, a hedge fund that generates alpha exclusively by listening to the unguarded conversations of passengers riding in the back of its cars.The strategy is simple. The fund ignores traditional financial analysis, quarterly earnings reports, and macroeconomic trends. Instead, it relies on the drunken, late night chatter of lawyers, investment bankers, and tech executives traveling home from dinners in San Francisco.“People say lots of stuff and we trade on it,” explained Waymo Capital’s Chief Investment Officer, Eve Sadropper. “You would be amazed what a pair of mid level executives will loudly discuss regarding unannounced mergers while assuming the empty driver’s seat means nobody is listening. A robot cannot judge you, but it can absolutely short your stock.”When asked about the ethical and legal implications of monetizing private…