being touched starved

I skipped swimming this morning. I slept in. I think I am super fucked up. I was reading something I wrote about porn addiction the other day. Yesterday? Who knows. And yeah I think I am touched starved. The only person who touches me is really myself and the occasional hug from a grandparent. I guess I give my friend Erik and his sister a hug every once in a while. Why am I fucking like this? Who fucking knows. I don’t fucking know anymore. I don’t, fucking, know. I go to Halifax next week. I have nothing going on. I went for a 10km trail run/hike with my friend on Tuesday. It cooked me. I don’t think I am ready for the half ironman. I think it will fuck me up pretty good. Oh well. I guess I’ll try anyways. We’ll see if I’ll just die. I think I will. It might kill me. I went to a movie and a friend of Erik’s was there. I guess kind of my friend but not that close. He is training for a 25-30km swim in Vermont next week. It made me excited. I talked to him about an idea for a swim…