i don't feel inspired to do anything

my days consist of job searching, some reading, some learning, some working out, cleaning, and sleeping. i do not feel inspired to do anything, which includes writing in this blog, i had started composing a post several times, but each time i stopped writing when the tone was too navel gaze-y and self indulgent and let's admit it, depressing. i wonder what's the good course of action here. so far, i have been letting myself feel whatever i feel and still do the things that need to get done (see the first sentence). it feels scary to let the boat of my life float on, without forcing the steering wheel in one direction or the other. was i really that dependent on work that its loss has done such a big number on me? why do i feel isolated, but at the same time so reluctant to talk to anyone? do i need to force myself to talk to my friends more? why do so many things feel like forceful, anyway? when is it the time to talk to a professional - and how would they be able to help? in my time,…