What Do You Say To Someone Who…

image by Layers on Pixabay Ever had one of those awkward moments when you’re talking with (or messaging with) someone who is struggling with an acute or chronic crisis (a terminal illness, recent loss of a loved one, a severe bout of depression etc), and you don’t know what to say? I’m guessing it happens to most of us pretty regularly. And in some cases there are no ‘right words’. The internet is full of unhelpful advice on what not to say, but its suggestions on what to say are mostly lame, iffy, or just plain awful. My sense is that the most helpful advice is probably to start by trying to put yourself in that person’s shoes (I know, you can’t really do that, but you can make your best effort) and ask yourself what you think you would like them to say to you if the circumstances were reversed. When I overhear people offering condolences, sympathy, or expressions of intended compassion, they almost always start with “I” and refer mostly to the speaker’s feelings rather than the…