Quiet Days

Making music used to be accompanied by so much beyond it. You might be right to call it "baggage." Writing music always was part of a larger whole from the first day I picked up the guitar: I'm going to write songs, put them out, play live shows in support of them, have budding social media pages, and then cycle the process with the next batch of songs. In those years, music was going to be something significant. And then without even noticing, it wasn't anymore. I look back on that earlier version of myself and have some combination of gratitude, envy, and pity for him. The gratitude stems from knowing that I am not where I am today without him. The envy I feel is for how past Brian believed certain things that I can't possibly fathom to believe now. Namely, he believed that he was destined for some big musical break; he believed he was good; he believed that the toil, frustration, and endless parade of apathy was all pointing to a moment when it would all turn. To believe such a…