My Weird Relationship With Sex

This is not a clean argument about sex It is more a record of the different ways sex has impacted my life and my life has impacted sex Sex work. Kink. Avoiding my penis. Focusing on someone else’s pleasure. Casual intimacy. Trying to be useful. Trying to be wanted without having to receive too much Sadly, I find that even with something most people enjoy I have uncomfortable baggage attached to it Sex work made my femininity feel realI was a sex worker Meeting clients as a "femboy" was one of the first places where my femininity felt validated Not romantically but in the blunt, physical way you imagine. It made me feel touchable and like being wanted as someone feminine feel possible That mattered, even if I didn't consider myself trans at the time It also changed what sex meant to me Sex became easier to understand as an activity rather than as intimacy. Something people can do, something that can be bought, sold, managed, performed, repeated and finished. Something that can happen…