Explaining My Gender Dysphoria to Friends Who Cannot Feel It

Content note: gender dysphoria, self-harm imagery, suicidal ideation Part 1: What being trans feels likeBefore I leave the houseI can start feeling worse before I even leave the house Getting dressed should be normal but it often becomes the first test I fail. Clothes make me aware of proportions I would rather forget. Shoulders, ribcage, the way fabric sits. Something that should make me feel more feminine can instead make my body feel more obviously wrong Makeup is worse because it should be practical, it should be something I can learn. Instead it becomes another place where I can't trust myself, I can never tell whether I did it badly or whether I hate my face too much to judge it properly I can't ask someone else either. If they say it looks fine I assume they are being polite and if they give advice I don't even have the confidence to apply the advice correctly So I end up alone with a mirror I don't trust and a face I can't stand Then I still have to leave the house That is the…