You thought that I could not get any sexier. I was sure of it myself. Sorry, Polymarket, it happened. “Impossible,” I see in your thought bubble. “You already have Tom Jones’s presence, John Coltrane’s embodied artfulness, and Brad Pitt’s I-love-to-watch-him-go. The only thing that could make you hotter would be if you slept in a night guard.” You would be right. If your dentist tells you to get a night guard, get it. If you don’t trust your dentist, get a new dentist. Because you like yourself and you know how important it is to care for your teeth. You floss every day. You brush twice a day with fluoride toothpaste that has the ADA Seal of Acceptance. Your default drink is water with fluoride, and you drink several glasses every day. You eat a lot of vegetables and fruits and other plants. You haven’t smoked tobacco since… gosh, has it been that long? Everyone loves your smile. I cannot lie to you: this is my second night guard. I got the first one about ten years ago. I stopped…
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